It’s all the rage in fitness. I know you have heard of it, and if not then now is the time. Insanity. As the title suggests, this workout truly pushes the limits to the point that in the first few minutes you may think you’ve literally lost your mind. I jumped on the bandwagon 15 days ago and immediately fell in love. If you read my blog you know about my obsession with P90x (Insanity’s fellow Beachbody workout), and while Tony Horton’s crazy antics and intense workouts helped get me to the point I’m at today…Insanity has pushed the envelope even farther and I feel like I’m in the best shape (athletically, not weight) I’ve been in maybe ever.

ew could my face be anymore disgusted or the mirror be anymore dirty? lol

I have a little over a month to reach my goal weight. I’m still not even at my pre-prego weight. If you’ve been wondering why I haven’t written in over a month, the hiatus was mainly because I became depressed about not reaching my goal yet. I had Ariston 6 months ago and I’m still not back to my normal weight. My Facebook News Feed was/is covered with new moms who had their babies and lost their weight fast…and jealousy and self loathing soon took over. I have been working out hard, eating right, and even worked out during 8 months of my pregnancy (month 9 I was too tired to even think about it). I kept asking myself, why haven’t I reached my goal? I felt like I was killing myself to try to lose the baby weight. Why was I beating myself up about this? I feel great. The workouts are getting me into great physical shape, we are eating right as a family, I have a handsome happy boy that I love with all my heart. My husband still finds me just as beautiful.What was it that was making me so obsessed and crazed about weighing a certain amount?

The Deceiver uses many different vices in people’s lives to distract them from the life that God has blessed them with and the direction He is leading them to. My focus lately has been so much on what I look like, that I am blocking out the most important voice: the voice of my Heavenly father. It hit me while I was laying in bed last night that I cannot be used by God when I am focusing so much on myself…it’s vanity really. It has robbed my joy of enjoying the stage of life I’m in right now. Don’t get me wrong, God wants us to be healthy and to treat our bodies right. However, I’ve started to make my body my god. It is a constant battle. My heart is so filled with idolatry that my prayer daily is that Jesus would redeem my heart from trying to replace Him with earthly things.

I write this all to say, treat your body well. It’s the only one you have on this earth. But friends, don’t turn your body into your god. The Lord is the only thing that will satisfy. Lost weight and skinny jeans only last for awhile…beauty fades, it’s fleeting and it will never satisfy your soul.

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

Feed your soul well, love your family, and serve Jesus.

I’m about to do my 15th workout of Insanity. I’ll keep doing it because I do want to reach my goal. I’m not giving up, and I don’t want you to either. I am, however, giving up my need to look a certain way in order to be happy. Jesus has filled my heart with joy and replaced the jealousy that was thriving there. I am genuinely happy for everyone who is reaching their goal, I hope I can be right there along with you one day. But really, my greatest hope is that you know the Jesus I’m talking about and that He is Lord over your life. I can honestly say I’ve never been so joyful. If you don’t know Him and want to know Him, email me: I love you all.